Life Is Good
I Realize I’m Doing the Deed - I’m Living Life with Schizoaffective Disorder
I have a difficult disease. I have been diagnosed as a schizophrenic since the late 2000s. Prior to that, it was bipolar disorder. After that, it was called schizoaffective disorder.
I think one of the best things someone can do with my disease is to arm themselves with knowledge. I have read several books about the illness. Probably around 6 or 7. If you’re not a reader, there may be TED talks or podcasts.
My priority today is to not have a relapse of symptoms, again. I had a relapse of symptoms in 2019. That relapse of symptoms led to jail time.
I arm myself today with knowledge about my disease. I realize too that I'm living a success story. I live independently today. I hold down a job. I keep my symptoms in check.
When the air conditioning in my apartment kicks on, I realize I have a life that is worth living. I have extra money to afford cool air. I’m jaded enough that I’ve really always had air conditioning. I’m not sure why I am so aware of it today. The air conditioning seems like a nice luxury. By managing my symptoms, I am able to have and afford it.
Today in my quest for knowledge about my disease, I am reading a book my sister gave me. It is called “Brain Energy - A Revolutionary Breakthrough in Understanding Mental Health and Improving Treatment for Anxiety, Depression, OCD, PTSD, and More” by Christopher M. Palmer, MD.
The author asserts what I have heard elsewhere, schizophrenia is a metabolic disorder of the brain. I’m not finished with the book. When finished, I will share more.
I have also read the following books:
Amador, Xavier. “I Am Not Sick, And I Don’t Need Help”.
Lauveng, Arnhild. “A Road Back from Schizophrenia”.
Lieberman, MD, Jeffrey A. “Malady of the Mind”.
Iorizzo, Carrie. “Schizophrenia and other Psychotic Disorders”.
Torrey, E. Fuller. “Surviving Schizophrenia”.
Powers, Ron. “No One Cares About Crazy People”.
Saks, Elyn. “The Center Cannot Hold”
Jamison, Kay. “An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness”.
Steele, Danielle. “His Bright Light: The Story of Nick Traina”.
There may be more that I am not thinking of right now. The topics range from schizophrenia to schizoaffective disorder to bipolar disorder.
The most comprehensive textbook style books on the disease of schizophrenia were Fuller - “Surviving Schizophrenia” and Lieberman - “Malady of the Mind”.
I’ve learned in 12 Step meetings for alcoholism that knowledge isn’t enough. The reality with my schizophrenia may be the same. Knowledge isn’t enough, but it certainly helps.
It is so important that I be reminded that I have a disease that I need to manage. I need to take medications. I need to meet with my doctor and counselor. I need to manage symptoms.
As I said though, I am doing the deal. My air conditioner kicks on and I realize I have a pretty good life.
Someone pointed out the other day that I have a good support system. The reality is that I have a great support system. I need to use those people and resources to remain where I am today (the air conditioner kicking on - the luxuries of life). The small luxuries.
I’ll also put a plug in for my memoir, “Torn Bindings” which can be found on Amazon. I would only make the small request that you leave a positive review, if you read it.
Learning how to live well is so important, and you are doing it! Great! Even better that you can recognize that you are doing it, and appreciate it. Well done.
I've read a couple of those books as well. Reading stories of others who manage the same illness is helpful I hope. The Saks book is especially inspiring I think.